And so the new journey begins…

After much thought, I have decided to take all the recent (and some not-so-recent) events in my life and channel all that energy into something positive.  The Love of my life, my Alan, was diagnosed with brain cancer in June 2014 and passed away January 17, 2016, after a valiant year-and-a-half-long battle.  Alan always made me feel I had a purpose in life.  He never tore me down, never had a disparaging comment, was always supportive (even if he didn’t agree).  Maybe a bit of sarcasm, but never hurtful or derogatory.  NEVER.  And no matter how much a zombie I was in the morning, or how haggard I was by sunset, no matter my mood … well, that was my Alan.  In my heart and soul, still my Alan.  

Just hearing his voice made everything okay.

So I have created this space as a kind of combined outlet…an outlet for my love for Alan and my love for animals – big, small, furry, feathered or hairless – and the all-or-nothing passion that Alan always loved.

AlanMariellesWedding
Alan, the Love of my life.

Alan was an animal lover.  Though he leaned towards the canine crew, he so loved my cats, particularly Buff (who always mushed with Alan – I’m pretty sure that Buff was waiting for him on the other side) and Rex (the “Jewcat” – Rex is a Cornish Rex and has a “jewish nose“).  He wasn’t a chest-thumping, card-carrying animal activist.  He was the type of guy that ALWAYS said hello to a dog passing in the street, new immediately the breed or mix, took the time to pet the pooch and interact with the owner.  It was one of the ways he got to ‘stop and smell the flowers’.  Alan sadly never got to meet Angie, and while he believed adding a dog to the fray might be overwhelming for me, to Alan all that mattered was my happiness and my son Sam’s happiness.  Adopting Angie from a shelter made me happy.  And while it added another mouth to feed and four feet to walk, the love she brings is simply beautiful.

And Alan believed that all lives matter – for the human variety, regardless of station in life, regardless of chosen profession; for animals, regardless of species.

So I am dedicating this blog to my Alan…because every moment of every day he reminded me of just how much I matter to him, and he finds ways daily to continue that from whatever the other side truly is.  I know that the Cohen critters all feel his presence, know that he is always there in the wings, watching  and protecting us.  Sam does too.

I feel Alan with me with every step, with every heartbeat and with every breath. And I know that when my time comes to leave this orb, he’ll be there on the other side with love and open arms when I arrive, with all my furbabies and human family at his side.

I miss you Alan…and I love you to infinity for eternity…

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